Fan Girl is going to be out in 8 days and there is so much to do still! Thinking about pressing publish makes me want to grab a rum and coke and hide in a dark room. Putting a piece of your heart out to the world and being vulnerable like that is terrifying. I just hope that the readers like this story that wouldn't get out of my head.
The past few weeks I've had a lot of personal issues come up, and haven't been blogging like I should. These issues are slowly being resolved, and in their wake I find a new me emerging.
Everyone changes, that's part of life. Sometimes you change over the course of time, experiences change us, sometimes we have to change out of necessity. But change is good. Change is positive, and can bring a whole new you into play. You can also choose to change. Choose to be a better woman, a better mom, a better wife, a better writer. Sometimes we get stuck in this role that we cast ourselves in, never looking to expand our character. Those chapters of our lives are stagnant, not growing and building our story.
For me, this has been an epiphany. We stay at home moms have a 24 hour job. We get up in the middle of the night, early mornings getting the kids off to school, stay on schedule for naps and chores and then make sure dinner is on the table right on time. We want to stay up late and maybe read a good book, if just to have some 'me' time.
It's easy to get into a routine and become that stagnant chapter that others want to skip over to get to the good stuff. But in that time your husband is not in that slow motion with you, your children are growing older, but you are failing to appreciate any of it.
The new me is a woman first. She isn't in mom jeans or PJs 24/7. I wake up and get the kids off to school, mop the floor and keep the house clean, not because I have to, but so that my kids can have friends over when they get home. I shave my legs and put makeup on EVERY day because it makes me feel good, and that in turn makes my husband happy. I dance and laugh and play with my family, because I don't like to read those boring chapters either.
Almost nine years of marriage and four kids later, that's what I've learned in the last few weeks. And it's priceless.
What have you learned?